Flirting Tips for Gay Men

1, Don't be too extrovert, some people don't like it.

2, When you meet someone you fancy, make sure you test the water first, they
may not be gay.

3, Give eye contact, if they are interested in you, they will acknowledge you
back with a smile, or they may approach you.

4, If you are out at a gay club or bar, where music is playing so you can have
a dance, get yourself on the dance floor, strut your stuff, if someone catches
your eye, use your body language, get closer to them on the dance floor, but
not to close where you may put them off. Try and make them notice you, without
going over the top and making yourself look an idiot.

5, Once you have caught their attention, see what response you get back first,
before you make a move, if they look like they are interested in you, look at
them seductively, or slowly get a little closer, see if they come and join you
for a dance.

6, If you manage to succeed, ask them their name, and if they come here often,
don't be to pushy, if it is someone who has just come out, you may frighten them
off.

7, Just be yourself, if anything happens then good luck.

8, If someone doesn't seem interested, back off, otherwise it may cause a
commotion.

9, If you find someone in the workplace attractive, but don't know if they are
gay or not, you could always ask a coworker if they know, if they don't know,
you could always just make polite conversation with them, and maybe ask them
out for a drink after work, with some of your other coworkers, so it doesn't
look to obvious what you are trying to do.

10, Never flaunt you sexuality in the workplace, or in front of people you don't
know, this can make people feel very uncomfortable, it may also cause
arguments, which you want to avoid.

Just be happy with yourself, always remember not everyone agrees with same sex
relationships, respect other people and have respect for yourself. Don't get yourself in a difficult position, by being too extrovert. Enjoy yourself, be confident in your sexuality, don't let others get you down, or get to you, if they don't agree with what you are doing. Everyone is entitled to be happy and have a life, no matter what there sexuality may be. Good luck, get flirty.

Coming Out: the scene

What is it?

The scene is a term used to mean gay bars, cafes, discos, lesbian and gay centres and shops - places that cater for gay people, where you can meet friends and have fun. Mostly these are based in Glasgow and Edinburgh, with smaller scenes in Aberdeen, Dundee and Inverness.

If you live in a more rural area, you may not be able to get to a scene, in which case the contacts at the end of this booklet may be even more important. Some people love the gay scene and once they discover it are out nearly all the time. For others it can be intimidating, boring or expensive.

What happens?

People meet, chat, dance and eat.

Do I talk to people?

To some, coming out is important because it helps them make new friendships and close relations. If you want to talk to someone, that is okay. Some people may chat to you to try to pick you up. You can choose to say yes or no to sex, and still have a chat and make friends. Decide for yourself what you want out of talking to people.

Do I have to behave in a certain way?

You may feel pressured to 'act gay '. But, there is no correct way to behave. Everyone is different. We all have our own unique desires, personalities and bodies. So, you don 't have to try to 'look gay ' either!! You will probably be happier if you can try to relax and be yourself.

Am I more attractive because I'm young?

Some people prefer older men, some their your own age, and some like men because they are young. Hopefully you will meet people who are interested in who you are, not how old you are.

Will everyone want to have sex with me?

Someone who is keen on you may well approach you. If you are not interested, say no. If you are, say yes. And if you're not sure, say you're not sure. Sex is best if you are completely happy with what you're doing.

What if I want sex?

Then find someone you fancy who wants to join you. Or enjoy a wank on your own. If you have sex with others, do you know about safer sex? (See SEX). Finding a sexual partner can be difficult. Not everyone will want to have sex with you. Some will be in a strictly 1-2-1 relationship, some people don't want sex and others may not fancy you. Sex is best when the people involved want the same things. Listening to people can help you work out what they want. At the same time, you can tell them what you want.

Coming Out...What about sex?

There are plenty of things you can do and enjoy, like kissing, cuddling and oral sex, wanking together, touching each other, anal and vaginal sex.

What if I don't like doing something?

Don't do it. Although it is sometimes difficult to say 'no', remember you don't have to do anything you don't want to. You can take care of yourself and enjoy sex more if you can communicate what you want and what you don't want. You are worth taking care of.

What is safer sex?

Safer sex means having sex that reduces the risk of transmitting infections. Some can only be passed on through unprotected intercourse. Others can be passed on through oral sex as well. To make sex safer, you can educate yourself. Many of the organisations listed in this booklet can provide you with information and support (see directory).

But, knowledge is not enough. Feeling comfortable about the sex you may have and being able to communicate with a partner are also very important. Thinking you might have got an infection or passed one on can be stressful. Good sex means feeling happy about it afterwards, as well during.


HIV is one form of infection that can be passed on through sex, most commonly through unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. HIV can be passed on whether giving or receiving. Penetrative sex without a condom is risky for either partner. If you have anal or vaginal intercourse, you can make it safer by using a condom and plenty of oil free lubricant. Lube should be either water-based or silicon-based.


Oil weakens condoms,which makes them much more likely to break. Using plenty of lube makes sex slippier, which is better for both condoms and comfort. You can get condoms and lubricant at the chemist or free in gay bars or from the Healthy Gay Scotland website: www.healthygayscotland.com

At what age can I have sex?

The legal age of consent for sex with men or women is 16 in Britain.

I'm nervous about having sex. What if it all goes horribly wrong?

We live in a society that is very uncomfortable with sex. So, it's not surprising that a lot of people are anxious about it. Before having sex, there are a few things you might wants to think about. Is sex what you want? Or is it friendship, attention or just a cuddle? Are you confident enough to say what you want and say what you don't want? Do you feel like you have to get drunk or high to have sex? Do you trust the other person? Are you in a place where you feel comfortable and safe? Have you thought about safer sex? Do you feel comfortable using condoms, if you decide you need one? Sex can go horribly wrong. It can also be an amazing experience, especially if you feel comfortable and prepared.

What is cruising?

Some men meet and have sex in public places, such as parks. This is called cruising. Sex in public is illegal, though engorcement varies. You can contact LGBT Youth Scotland for information about your rights. Cruising also involves a risk of assault. Be careful!

Copied from : http://www.healthygayscotland.com/

Coming Out...How to do it!

There is no right place or right time or right way to come out. Sometimes people use coming out as a way to start an argument or to hurt someone. This may damage relationshipes you really want to keep. Having a few drinks first won't make it any easier, either. Try to plan ahead and think carefully about what you're doing. When coming out to someone, remember how long it has taken you to accept your sexuality. Others may need time to accept this also - so try to keep calm.

Here are some suggestions for responses to statements some people might make:

It's just a phase:
Things may change in the future, but this is how I feel now. And that is what is important.

It's not important:
It is to me. I've had to build up a lot of courage to tell you.

Was it something I did?:
No. It's just the way I feel.

God says it is wrong:
God made me the way I am.

Now it's said, don't mention it again:
If I don't, I will have to lie about where I've been and who I see. I'm not willing to do that.

Why do you have to tell everyone about what you do in bed?
I'm not. I'm talking about my sexuality, which is different from sex. I'm telling you about me.

What a Gay Wants (Anal Positioniny)

First of first….is…..

Cleanliness

As always, this matters more to some people than others, but in this case it’s a more popular issue than with just about any other kind of sex, for obvious reasons. First, having bathed more recently than the last BM is a good idea.

It’s a good idea to have a bowel movement an hour or so before, to ensure that nothing is encountered during any penetration (unless you’re into that, I suppose), and then bathe the area.

Other than basic cleaning like that, oil-based lubricants are a great insulator for anal contact. They tend to cover up any potential (or simply feared) smell and transfer of icky stuff. If you use Vaseline/petrolatum, for example, the odds are that a simple wiping off with a dry cloth will result in finger/penis/whatever seeming to be just about perfectly clean. Again, this may not matter to some people, but it’s worth mention because it is crucial to others.

Now to the basic!!!

This case…………….
You = top
Your lover = bottom

Foreplay….
Gently touching the anus is a good way to get started, once you’re worked up to it. Because this area’s not really messed with as much, it can be exciting to just be touched there.

The protate - which is just beyond the rectal wall, a few inches in, towards the front of the body - can be a source of pleasure when massaged by a finger, an object, or a penis. Also, the lower end of the penis, or “bulb,” is near the anal opening opening. It is stimulated indirectly by most types of anal sex.

Lubrication

It is very very important to avoid any hurt or damage!!!
I would like to suggest “Bodyglide” I experience that this is much better than any other lubricant because it lasts longer and it give you a sexy feeling, when you rub your body with your partner ;o)

Or KY gel is another kind, which I suggest ;o)

Basics positions

For most anal sex, there are a few positions which make it easier to access the butt. These generally apply to analingus, actual anal sex, or even using fingers…though with fingers almost any sexual position might work, if both parties enjoy it.

++ The most basic is for your lover to be on their back, legs spread and/or knees pulled up. Put a pillow or two under their butt…this is a big help that’s easily overlooked. In one way this is the most awkward of the positions, but it can be the easiest for your lover.
++ Another is for your lover to be on elbows and knees, as for doggie style sex. This is easier for access, but it also tends to require your lover to tighten their butt muscles a bit. This may work better if your lover has some support under their chest/belly to lean on, so they can relax more, and possibly even so they can lean forward a little, extending their legs out and to the side behind them, which might put things at an easier angle for access.
++ I wouldn’t like to recommend this position but anyway…it is nice to know ;o)…. A third position is for them to be on their side. Their legs need to be in a scissors position, perhaps the upper one extended in front of them and the other straight “down” (as if they were standing), else the upper leg drawn up toward the chest or straight upward (bent, either way), and the lower leg in whatever position is comfortable.

…see also in Anal drop position as a basic position….

Other Positions

Here are some other positions that you can try out to see what you like best.

++ Flying Doggie : A variation of the popular doggie style position in which you stands behind your lover (instead of kneeling) and places their feet outside the legs of your lover. You’ll find that your lover will be positioned higher and will be inserting into the anus in a more downward fashion (you’re almost in mid-leap if you were playing leapfrog).
++ Missionary : The standard missionary style position (you on top, your lover on bottom) is actually also the best beginner position for anal sex, as it allows your lover to fully relax the anus, making penetration much easier.
++ Anal Drop : This position puts your lover on top and you on the bottom. You might think that this is the best beginner position, since it gives your lover control over how much - how fast, but being on top actually causes the receiver to involuntarily tighten up the anus, making penetration difficult.
++ Kama Sutra Anal :The Kama Sutra is an ancient text that teaches us to how to maximize our pleasure during lovemaking. It also teaches that anal sex is not “taboo” or forbidden. Rather, anal sex is looked upon as a key to releasing certain sexual and physical energies.
++ Wheel Barrel : In this position, you approaches your lover from behind, similar to doggie stye, but lifts your lover’s legs into the air. Your lover must support themselves with their arms only or lay flat on a bed or chair.

First time on Anal SeX?

Gay men’s first encounters with other men’s erections can be strange and complex experiences. There's excitement. You've got there. You've got him stripped to his intimate, naked self. He's upright and hard just for you, his excitement obvious and visible. There's also the shock of reality. A real live here-and-now erection can look rather different from the air-brushed, softened and sanitized fantasy. The colour and texture of his cock and balls may appear more extremely different from the surrounding skin than you've been able to imagine it. The reality might throw you. And then, amidst this shock, there's the need to perform.

How might you begin to prepare? A few tips are obvious. Make sure there is real emotional intimacy between you, that it isn't a random or desperately sought encounter - anything to lose your V. His nakedness then will seem more clearly right and unthreatening. It will be the obvious next thing, and not a false move. You'll be able to be open with each other as you become more aroused. Be sure as well that your inexperience is known by him - and his experience or otherwise by you. You both need to know where you stand, the better to support each other. Don't rush things. Take your time - lots of foreplay - to enjoy and get to know each other's body. Go step by step, touch before sucking, and only go as far as you want to. You can do more later, but can't take back what you've already done.

This, perhaps, is a lot to take in already - and already suggesting, perhaps, that a sexual encounter is a very big deal. Don't let your ideas about sex get all out of proportion, but take a little time to think things through before having sex.

On your own there are ways you can develop your sense of sexuality and of what you'll be finding when you and another gay boy first get naked. Most of the body's skin you'll already have seen - say, at the local pool - and you'll no doubt have seen a range of flaccid penises. So far, so no issue. But when they're erect, as said before , they look different.

One question to ask is this: How aware are you of your erect penis when you're masturbating? Do you tend to forget your own body, including your cock and your moving hand, while the mental cinema screen takes over? Or do you dwell on the texture, the physicality of wanking, and the look and shape of your penis? If it's more the former than the latter, try stopping and slowing yourself down every once in a while. Move deliberately slowly. Tease yourself. Explore the available sensations. Think about what you could do with it. Having sex can be something of a marriage of fantasy, physical feeling and practicality. Bring these various aspects together on your own and you'll be more ready, more confident, when it's you and another boy.

Pornography can be a great way of exploring your fantasies. There's plenty available for free on the internet, though you'd be well advised to block pop-up windows before beginning to explore. Bear in mind that porn is for the viewer, though there's nothing wrong with that, and in this sense isn't about 'real' sex, which is for those taking part – but allow yourself to look and register the models' erections, and think of them, other men’s erections, when you play with your own. You'll come more fully to associate the feelings you've so far experienced with other people's arousal and nakedness.

Never feel guilty or somehow less of a man for wanting cock - wanting to see it, hold it, have it inside you. Accept and enjoy those desires. And when you feel you're ready to act on them, take the time to enjoy it. If you've prepared yourself a little, you'll be confident enough to make the most of your first experiences.

First time advice for gay anal sex

Anal sex is often seen as the definitive form of gay love-making.

You might think, and be pressured to think, that if you’re not doing it, be you top, bottom or versatile, you must be some sort of second rate closet case. But is it for you? It can hurt (a lot) at first, comes as something of a shock to the system, and might well be termed an acquired taste. If you fancy it, here are a few tips on how to begin to acquire it.

Spend time on your own discovering your anus before having sex with others. Run a bath and get naked. Go to the toilet. Then put some lube on a finger, work it around the outer anus, stay there awhile, and start pushing it in.

The sensations you get might already be quite intense. If you’re unsettled, use your other hand to masturbate and reassure yourself with feelings with which you’re familiar. Allow yourself to enjoy the new feelings. Relax and feel free to fantasise. Explore and get a sense of the shape and texture inside you. Then, when you’re comfortable, try inserting a second finger. Be careful, but rest assured your anus can certainly cope with this.

When you withdraw you might feel you want to defecate again. This is normal. Probably nothing will happen. If anything does, don’t worry. It will clean up when you’re done and there’s no shame attached. It’s just a reflex reaction.

You might also want to experiment with something more life-size. If so, use a proper dildo – not a deodorant canister or a cucumber. You don't want to scratch the lining of your anus or have something nasty break off in there. And, yes, the guy in the sex shop may well take one look at you and know exactly where it’s going to end up. But so what? He’s seen it all already. Just acknowledge to yourself that you’re doing this as part of your exploration of yourself as gay.

When using the dildo, begin again with your fingers and use a lot of lube. You need to find a relaxed position. Sitting with your ass to one side can work well. If you’re standing, make sure your legs remain relaxed. If they tense, the sphincter will follow. Push it in slowly. Don’t force it. Don’t sit on it.

When you encounter resistance, pause, relax. If you push your anus towards the dildo, as if you were pushing faeces out, you might find you open more easily. Still, however gently you go, you can expect a pop. There might well be a moment of pain. After this, the rest will probably slip in a lot more easily.

The sensations that follow are complex. When you relax, the pain will probably abate and give way to a sense of elation. It can feel breathtakingly high, as if every connection in your body and brain just started firing. Your instinct might be immediately to masturbate and cum in a way more dazzling than you ever have before. One thing you are doing now is learning to ride this pleasure.

Move the dildo slowly and give yourself time to get used to it. It might be that’s enough for the moment, or it might be that you want to experience a faster pace – the pace of sex – and for as long as it would take a man fucking you to cum. If it’s the latter you want, be careful. The dildo can go as fast and as hard as you make it and experience no pain of its own. In other words, a dildo is NOT the same as a penis. Also, the loose skin around the shaft of a penis will lessen the friction on the anus, even though the head might be pumping quite hard and your buttocks might be getting a pounding.

Get ready to make some noise, and some pretty weird facial expressions. The feelings may become intense to the point of mindlessness. You might start groaning, shrieking, gurgling, sobbing...There comes a point when it is as if there is a barrier to cross. The feeling of being about to explode might make you stop. Or you can cross that barrier to find a further degree of elation.

At last, there is a point where you level out. It is as if a plateau has been attained and no further ascent is possible. You might want to stay there a little while, as it were to admire the view, then pause and prepare for the final shock, which is when you withdraw. It is possible you might make a mess. In order not to feel anxious about this, have a towel down or do it over a toilet or an easily cleaned surface.

Be aware that, after the high, there is a downside. After using a dildo, just as after having sex, your anus might take time to close. You might need to spend time sitting on the toilet relaxing and calming down. Also, the mess you might make risks leading to feelings of shame and humiliation. Mentally, you might feel unfocused and ‘spaced’ for hours to follow.

Anal sex is not ‘natural’. It is allowed for – obviously – but hardly encouraged by nature. The aim is to pleasure ourselves to the utmost within the bounds of nature.

And when you first have anal sex be prepared to make further discoveries. On the one hand, if you’re the bottom, you are showing that man something intimate about yourself. You are experiencing ecstatic sensations – and making those noises and faces again – with him watching you. And you have to want him to do that. On the other, you’ll be seeing someone else working his way towards orgasm differently from what you’ll have seen and shared when masturbating or giving and receiving head.

Be prepared for the feeling of passivity. If you resist being passive and wanting him to do it to you, perhaps thinking that makes you less of a man, then, no matter your preparation, you’ll be in for a bad time. But if you accept all the feelings involved in having anal sex, then it can be wonderful.

Performance Fears

As with the ass-person, so too with the penis-person, being of good consciousness, open, wanting to explore and cooperate - with these, knowledge and pleasurable sensations; touching and rubbing in joyful ways. Once your penis is in his rectum, all this will tend to happen by itself; just let go and explore what feels good.

If you haven't done it before, you might feel clumsy, confused; body motions use din anal intercourse aren't used many places outside sex, so how can you be expected to know them instantly? If you feel uncomfortable, tell him you're exploring maybe he can help you out.

One big worry is that you might be embarrassed, that you'll fail. This is called "Performance anxiety:" you can't get it up, you can't keep it up, and/or you can't carry through to climax. The penis is sensitive to worry, like a barometer it goes up and sown with anxiety level (among other things, such as fatigue). In other words, if you're too upset or too unsteady, it's pretty hard to fake it with your cock. And once you've "failed," it makes it even harder.

But actually, this penis-sensitivity can be seen as a good thing: it makes you be honest. There's a big difference between performing in intercourse and sharing. I'm not writing about performance at all - if you want to put on a show, entertain your partner and prove your skills, go read something else because I'm not interested in it. If you want to be together, mixing with him, giving and taking as two growing people - then you'll want to be honest, clear, human, yourself. And then, if you go limp, you go limp. Big deal! That's part of being yourself at the time. You're scared, uncertain, confused; these are important feelings; don't deny them! People manage to get themselves into a fix by making things worse then they are. Worries in sex are common, human things; we all fail, including me your humble sexpert. By discovering you can just be you, wherever you're at during the moment, it won't matter so much; it'll be OK.

If you've tried before and failed a lot, you probably feel pretty bad about it. "I'm a loser; ain't it awful." Well, you'll never get over it with that attitude. What keeps people from doing what they want is "I can't do it; I'm super anxious that I'll just fail again." This vicious circle failure, fear of failure - needs to be broken, and the first step is removing the emotional punch of "failing." Examine why you see your act as a failure; you must have had a goal in mind that you didn't reach, and this to you was bad. Why is this a bad thing? Try looking at it from a new point of view, seeing it neither as a bad or good, but simply as an event which happened.

Find a friend who's willing to work on it with you, explaining that you want to do this, but couldn't manage it in the past. Then you can go on to break the cycle, by learning that you can enjoy yourself. This needs trust and help from your friend, as you learn together. First, you'll want to discover you can enjoy contact with his rear end. when you're having sex, try inserting your finger on or in his anus, and he into yours, especially at climax. Thus you'll discover you can give and get extra pleasure this way. After you're used to this, try the special position I mentioned before: you lie on your back, and your friend straddles you at the waist, to insert your penis in him. You don't have to move a thing; just relax and feel it. Often the person was so worried about what to do after insertion that he could never get that far.

Let your friend do all the movement. I you go limp, try again or switch to something else. Make sure it's OK with you and your friend if you go limp, since this (limp=failed=bad) can be the biggest part of feeling like you're no good. Take time discovering that you can be erect and be inside him. If it doesn't happen sooner or later, you may want to just let it rest until a better time.

After you feel comfortable being inside him. try moving. As you begin to do this, open up to your desire. Try the side-ways position, both facing the same way, since it won't be as demanding as some others. Once you feel fluid and relaxed mentally, your body will flow also. Flex it; try out your pelvis. Just move it around any old way and see what happens. You'll probably discover most if not all the possible movements. Thrusting is with the small of the back (just above your ass), making your pelvis tip up and down. You'll be rusty at first; practice makes better (dancing is also a good place to practice).

You'll find you can move in ways that express your feelings: slow, fast, hard, soft, simple, complex, as you like. Also it'll take time to coordinate your movements with him; this cooperation is learned, as you pick up each other's styles and talk about what's good for you. If both of you are into moving at the same time, perhaps the easiest is for you to thrust while he rotates his pelvis. To do this try to draw an imaginary circle around your waist with your rear end. And then there's thrusting together - there are two ways to do it. As you push your penis deeper into his ass, he can push against you' and then pull away from you as you pull away from him. This is the meeting style. In the rhythm style, you both thrust at the same time; you make the exact same rhythm. Obviously this would never work, except that you and he don't move at exactly the same time: one of you is "off" slightly, pushing down a little after he pushes down, pulling up a little after, and so on.

There's another important matter that's good to know. And this is about forcing your friend's ass. There are two ways to have anal intercourse as in inter-action, or as a game of force and selfish controlling between suspicious partners. Time and again, it is the good consciousness that matters; feeling warm, trusting, open with your friend. With this attitude, the problem of forced entry will never come up. But it often happens that a tight anus is rammed by a callous or overeager partner, and this is not good. As I've taken time to explain, the anus muscles will be as loose as the person feels. If the anus doesn't relax, intercourse can still happen, as the ass can be entered by sheer force. This is usually painful, and may hurt the ass-person by tearing the rectum. You will instantly know if you're being entered in a bad way, because it'll hurt a lot. And that's the time to stop things.

Be gentle when you enter another person: after you're in, you can use healthy stroking, but not at first; don't plunge in like a high diver. You should slide in with a firm, easy pushing, If not, try again later. the anus may not be either totally relaxed or tight: it doesn't have to be gaping wide open - but if firm pressure doesn't work, don't go on. The best indicator of trouble is pain - a little is usually OK, especially of the ass-person is inexperienced, but a lot means stop. If the penis is really large, some extra stretching may be necessary, and this may take a little practice for the anus to get used to. You can insert your penis in just part way, and then withdraw, so that his anus will become adjusted to accept this mount. The anus is very flexible, but it may take some practice - try inserting a little, then full insertion later, followed by gentle movements and then finally moving as comfortable. This gradual approach, in many matters, is usually the safest and most secure way.

From all the foregoing, it may seem like anal intercourse is a very complex activity. But actually it's a simple thing, and comes easy with an easy mind. It's another way of sharing bodies and feelings, meeting and exploring the world of ourselves. It can be a way of pleasuring, growing, loving, a nice pastime or a meaty pursuit.

Postillioning

Postillioning is inserting a finger (fingers) into the anus, and may include massaging it, the rectum, or/and the prostate gland inside. At its extreme, this can become fist fucking, which is insertion of the whole hand. I've already mentioned postillioning as a pleasant addition to the sex act, and also as a good preparation for anal intercourse. Here I'd like to explain in more detail how you can do it, and things to watch out for.

The index or middle finger is best used, being long and strong. The finger must be well lubricated with spit or oil or Vaseline (don't use any thing with soap, as this will upset the rectal eco-system), and then placed at the anal opening. The outside can be caressed in circles and mild probes. This is usually a very warm experience and helps relax the are.

Make insertion by pressing gently and firmly inwards, wobbling the tip a little as necessary. On the one hand, your finger won't go in at all if the ass is tight as it can be. On the other, if the anus is completely relaxed the finger will slide in with hardly any effort. Postillioning is a great way to help someone explore their rear and learn to loosen the anus-opening. Insertion is helped of the ass-person pushes lightly out as of going to the bathroom. You probably won't find anything inside the rectum, and whatever you do find will be harmless. If you must have him absolutely clean inside he can douche with an enema bottle and warm water.

Once inside, you'll feel the thick, strong, muscular ring which is the anus, and beyond it the soft sides of the rectum. Keep at least your fingertip beyond the anus, or contraction of the muscle will cause the finger to pop out again. Once your finger is inside, you can explore around, pushing it in as far as it'll go, curling it around the anus, flicking it back and forth, finding the prostate gland, This gland makes the fluid for ejaculation, and can be found behind the testicles; if you stroke it during masturbation or fellatio, it feels great (if it hurts a lot instead, it's probably infected; if it doesn't feel like much of anything, you're probably nervous). If you insert two fingers you can push them apart inside as a way to stretch and loosen the anus. Just having the finger(s) positioned inside while sucking or jacking-off is quite delightful, while sliding them up and down at ejaculation can double or quadruple the intensity. When it's time to finish, just pull the finger out gradually, pushing down towards the legs with the finger(s) while drawing the hand up towards the head.

Being positioned is another way to open yourself up to new experiences. You may be nervous at first, from the newness of it; it may not seem pleasurable at all. Since your anus/rectum is used to nothing but excrement inside, a finger may cause you to feel like going to the bathroom. This is to be expected at first, and will disappear as you relax and get used to it. It's also easier if you're sexually excited. Keep in mind that the finger can't harm you unless it has a sharp nail or pokes violently.

Fist Fucking

In fist fucking the whole hand (and even the forearm) goes up the rectum. Some people seem to like this: they say it produces very erotic sensations of their internal organs. Although fist fucking can be very painful, it's not necessarily an S&M (sado-masochistic) action; any two people can get into it who want to. You can do fist fucking because the anus and the rectum are so remarkably flexible. You start by bunching the fingertips together and inserting them, lubricated, in the anus. Then you slowly work the fingers up and in, as the anal sphincter relaxes. Finally, if the anus relaxes enough, you'll be able to fit the whole hand (with the fingertips still pressed together). Once in, you can clench the fist and slide your arm in too. Of course, before you can be fist fucked, you must really want it and be able to relax your anus. Fist fucking can be very harmful if it bruises the prostate gland, causing infection, or irritates anal sores you already have, or pierces the rectum itself. If the rectum is broken, it's easy to get peritonitis, an infection inside the stomach cavity, which can be fatal without quick medical treatment. So, if you want to do fist fucking, be cautious.

Sex Tips for Gay Guys

Many gay men got their first explicit glimpse of the future by sneaking teenage peeks at the infamous "Joy of Gay Sex" at their local Waldenbooks. Those line drawings of hippy-haired queers going at it, surrounded by text as technical as an auto manual's, have met their 21st-century match in "Sex Tips for Gay Guys," by Dan Anderson.

Alas, the volume is devoid of copulation pictures. But more vital than all that, Anderson delves into the particularly complex ecosystem of the gay male sex world. From having sex with a 12-stepper to spotting cling-ons at a gay bar to explaining what the heck M&M is, no stone is left unturned. (Although the leather crowd may bristle at his tendency to poo-poo and quickly gloss over anything beyond vanilla.)

Here is a volume a gay teenager can really use. Goodness knows, we learn soon enough what goes where, but the more subtle aspects of gay mating, like how to handle a bossy bottom or politely dodge unwanted trolls, are what everyone needs help with time and again. In this area, Anderson excels. By explaining that the drag queen will be the one to untape her genitals before sex (without your help), and that Pig Dicks (guys who hold back ejaculating while you do all the work) need to be treated harshly, he's written a manual we can really put to use. Explicit tactics for teethless blow jobs, no-pain bottoming, and disease-free rimming are all included.

Anderson's last book, "Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man" was eagerly lapped up by the biofems, and this sequel is sure to do just as well with the lads.

Safe to do on Date

Meeting new people on the web is brilliant fun and one of the easiest ways to find romance. It makes to be aware of personal safety when you go on a date with somebody you are meeting for the first time.

• Exchange a good few messages before meeting. You may feel you've 'clicked' immediately with someone - but the more you know about a date, the better.
• Don't give out your phone number or address unless you're really, really sure. If you do want to call your date, remember our phone friends service offers a safe way to phone without disclosing your number. If you do ring someone, and you're asked to reverse the charges on a call, don't. Your number appears on their phone bill.
• Arrange to meet in a public place. Do not invite your first date round to your place. Lunchtime dates are great fun, and if you're at work they give a perfect "get-out" excuse if things aren't going too well.
• Do not accept a lift - make your own way there and back.
• Do discuss the dress code before the date: there's nothing more embarrassing than dressing down when they've dressed up.
• Above all, trust your own feelings. If you have doubts about somebody the obvious thing to do is not to meet with them - at least until they have put your mind at rest.

How safe is oral sex?

I heard that there have been reports of HIV being spread through oral sex, and other sources have said there haven't been any reports of this. What is the truth?



The truth from the University of California San Francisco and the San
Francisco Department of Public Health is that the risk of transmission of HIV via oral sex is very, very, very, very, very low. Other sources of information in the U.K. and elsewhere are not based on sound epidemiological data. But remember, other STDs can be transmitted easily via oral sex. So regular check-ups are in order. In those check-ups, get vaccinated against hepatitis A and B, get screened in your throat, ass and urine for chlamydia and gonorrhea and get blood tests for HIV, syphilis and herpes. DEMAND these tests from your doctor, clinic or health department. These tests are out there and essential to maintaining good sexual health. Be kind, be cool and be safe.



What is the latest thinking about unprotected oral sex between men?



A very recent study from Spain confirmed earlier studies that it is very, very uncommon for oral sex to transmit HIV. That said, oral sex can transmit gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes and syphilis, so sexually active men and women who have oral sex should get regular STD check-ups at least every six months, if not more, depending on how many new partners folks have.

NOTE: Sexually Transmitted Infection which was known before as Sexually Transmitted Disease can be transmitted thru oral sex. Like Gonorrhea. People who happened to have n. gonorrhea in their oral mucus can be transmitted to your male orifice (Penis). To avoid this kind of infection be cautious, no matter how good looking they are or ugly they will be. They can be the carrier of that disease. (From an anonymous source who happened to have that disease but was cured)

How safe is oral sex?

I was wondering how safe oral sex is -- giving and receiving.



Questions about oral sex are probably the most common ones I get. We recently completed a study of men in San Francisco who have only had oral sex and found zero new HIV infections. But other STDs, like syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and herpes, are definitely transmitted through oral sex, and oral sex has likely contributed to our current syphilis outbreak.



My lover had HIV and hepatitis C. We only had oral sex. How safe am I?



Oral sex is considered a low-risk sexual activity. There have not been enough studies done that separate oral sex from other sexual activities, so it's not clear exactly how low the risk of HIV transmission is, although it is believed to be very low. (If you're in San Francisco and want to participate in the HOT [HIV Oral Transmission] study, call 1-877-ORAL-HIV.)



The sexual transmission of hepatitis C is very rare as well. Hepatitis C is mostly transmitted through contaminated needles, blood transfusions and shared injection equipment. When researchers study hepatitis C in semen it is very difficult to find the virus, and when they do, the amount is very low.

Date Tips for Shy Guys

Going out on your first date with a guy or meeting a guy for the first time can be a bit of a nerve racking experience, especially if your one of those shy guys.

Let me tell you something; I'm one of those shy guys. But, this is one shy guy who decided that unless he did something about it, he was never going to get laid or have a boyfriend if he didn't get out there.

Here's my short list of the things that I have done or used in order to get over shyness, meet interesting guys and have a "successful first date".

But first, I've got to tell you, that I consider every date that I've ever gone on a success. Why? For starters, I'm still alive to talk and write about it. And because every date, no matter how lousy or dull was a learning experience and one more date that I DID go on.

The important thing is to get out there and start meeting guys; start making friends and get off the couch or out of your bedroom.

6 Tips for Your Successful First Date

1. Have confidence in yourself, your abilities and that the date will go well.

Guys are attracted to guys who have or exude confidence. Confidence is about knowing who you are, what you want and knowing that you'll get it.

2. Don't think of it as a date, think of it as meeting someone interesting, for lunch, dinner, drinks, coffee, or whatever it is you plan to do. By throwing away the "date" label you can get down to just having a pleasant outing with the guy with no "date expectations".

3. Relax and just be you. Trying to conjure up some sort of false persona is pointless, you might impress yourself for a second or two and maybe even the other guy for a moment; until he figures out its all hype or "bull".

It's OK to be you and if the other guy isn't interested in you it's no big deal, because there's thousands and thousands of gay men out there.

4. Arrive a little bit early. I like to arrive at places a little early for a variety of reasons, but I've found it a helpful habit if I'm feeling a bit nervous or shy too.

When you're going out to a restaurant or a coffee shop, if you arrive a bit early you can go to the washroom without deserting your date, compose yourself, fix your hair, wash those sweaty palms and relieve yourself if necessary.

Arriving a little early or exactly on time also means that you won't be rushed and you won't be puffing out excuses as to why you were late. It just makes things easier and less stressed initially.

5. Dress for the occasion and location. You don't need to look like a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy makeover, but if you dress nicely and appropriately for the occasion and the location, you'll not only look great, you'll feel great. You'll be confident that you're in the right attire for wherever it is you're going out to.

And now, for my ultimate not-so-secret dating tip for shy guys...

6. Wear your "power underwear" when you go out on a date, especially your first date. If you don't have a pair of "power underwear", get some. The idea is to get something that makes you feel incredibly powerful and sexy.

I find that thongs in purple, red or black, fit the bill for my power underwear. They allow you to feel and be powerful, sexy, flirty, and confident; all the things you need on a date.

It doesn't matter if you don't end up in the sack or on the floor later on in the evening. Power underwear is something that can give the shy guy that extra little edge.

Dating Tips

Whether you are gay, bisexual or bi-curious, finding that perfect date can be a daunting task, especially if you are stepping out for the first time. How should you dress? Where should you go? What should you say or not to say? One thing is for sure, remember to be yourself and be relaxed. Below are a series of gay dating tips aimed at helping you make that date a real success.

The top gay dating tips:

1. Location, location, location! Choosing a meeting place is extremely important. Agree to meet at a place that is neutral, not too far from your dwellings and be familiar with the area. You would want to also choose a place that is not too noisy or rowdy, more like a quiet bar where you can both communicate and be heard effectively.

2. Concentrate my dear! Dating can always be extremely tense and nerve racking, especially if you are the quiet or shy type. One point to remember is to listen carefully to what your date has to say, this will enable you to relate and connect more easily.

3. A little bit of give and take: Share the conversation, ask as many questions as you like, feel free to talk about yourself, but also be courteous and listen to what the other person has to say.

4. What was in the past is better left in the past: Do not dwell in the past and absolutely refrain from mentioning your past relationships and negative experiences. Remember, every first date is a new beginning and should be treated like one. So, feel confident and be optimistic, stick to the present and the future. Show your date that his time is now and that you have no left over baggage.

5. Radiate: Show your inner glow and be positive. There is nothing like a positive and optimistic person. It shows a good level of confidence, which is definitely attractive in many people's eyes. Bury your negative thoughts and think positive.

6. To hump or not to hump? It has been proven time and time again that one night stands or "hi how are you, let's have sex" encounters do not last the test of time or more than 24 hours for that matter. If that is what you are seeking, fine, but just play it SAFE, otherwise you may want to concentrate further on the conversation and leave sex for another time. This will show that you are genuinely interested in your date and wish to take matters further.

7. Easy come, easy go: There is no need to rush the situation. Take your time, give yourself and the other person time to breath and discover how you truly feel about each other. It is not advisable to become too serious too quickly at an early stage in the dating process. This might easily scare off the other person who may not feel ready for a relationship or commitment.

8. Honesty shall set you free: There is no point in beating around the bush. Be true to yourself and your feelings towards this person. If you feel you are not getting the attention you deserve, let yourself be heard. If your interest is not reciprocated, direct your attention on somebody that will appreciated it. Like wise, if you grow dissatisfied or lose interest in the person, let it be known.

9. R.E.S.P.E.C.T: One of the most important gay dating tips is to treat the other person with the same level of respect as you feel you deserve. There is no point in wasting time and playing games, return their phone calls and speak to them. If you are not interested, have the decency of letting the person know rather than taking them on a roller coaster ride of uncertainty.

Meeting someone new is never easy, let alone dating them. We hope these gay dating tips have given you a valuable insight into etiquettes involved with dating. We wish you the very best of luck and hope that you keep these gay dating tips in mind.