Early Gay Clues

"Looking back on life, when you were younger (I'm talking like 9 or 10), were there any clues that you were gay? Things that seem obvious now, but weren't at the time." SM

The following are some of the responses that were posted to this question -asked by one of our ChadzBoyz Forum members. Please note that none of these responses mean someone is gay or will become gay. Some boys fit the responses and are straight. Nevertheless these are the perceptions of early signs of being gay in the opinion of the members who responded.


"In my youth I played doctors and nurses a lot with a male friend. I guess at that age you don't really think about what you're doing but that was a big sign I think." TI

"My obsession with looking at guys, I would say is mine." RC

"I always liked playing with males more than playing with females; I always felt closer. And yet, most of my friends ended up being girls." LI

"Sometimes played with Barbies, and played dress-up with the other girls in my family." UN

"Playing dress up with my girl friends; only being the girl in video games; being extremely sensitive...(though that doesn't always point to being gay); having way to many friends that were girls; I liked staring at guys." CR"I played with lots of girls and their little girly toys. Being really sensitive and emotional, not being into to stereotypical guy stuff, and being attracted to guys (somewhat a good clue)..." MY

"Oh my god, there are so many for me. It's a wonder others didn't come out for me! I was obsessed with Beauty and the Beast and wanted the dolls, I have done very artsy things (which sometimes is a tip off: violin, voice lessons, drama) I played some Truth or Dare games with a guy friend (which I really liked). When I was REALLY little I told my girl cousin that I thought it would be better to be a girl, and have always been into looking at guys. I mean, I never really liked sports that much either. That pretty much sums up my early gayness, but I am still proud to be me no matter what!" CR2

"Never liked sports, had more of an emotional side. Didn't do many "gay" activities though, my dolls shot each other." CH

"Never liked sports; I liked Barbies... and sometimes at Fast Food places I'd make my mom get "Girl toys". The stories with them were a little more violent maybe, though
I was more into arts and crap... on the playground we would like do LARPs based on Mario or Final Fantasy 1 lol...I liked guys. I actually cared about animals and peoples feelings; I was sensitive, I actually cried. I liked dressing up. I tried to look at other guys in the bathrooms." LE

"I remember when my best guy friend would come over for the night, he would sleep in my bed because I had a double bed and there was no other bed for him. I never thought anything of it. After a while he thought he couldn't come over anymore for the lack of another bed, and I was truly hurt. Not because I couldn't sleep with him, but because he didn't come over. I never saw anything wrong with it until later when I realized it wasn't "normal" for two guys to sleep together. Oh course, I don't feel like that now. Razz I'm looking forward to sleeping with another guy!" DW

"And when I was small...I was always into girly music (i.e. Barbie Girl LOL)." PN

"Every birthday up until I was thirteen I would secretly wish that I would wake up the next day a girl. Pretty much all that's been said here, cross-dressing, typical female-orientated music, typical female-orientated television programs, typical female-orientated playthings, typical female-orientated emotional responses to stimuli, etc, etc. I never really liked boys, didn't relate to them. Much more comfortable around girls. I still have problems associating with males, even gay males. It was my lack of hormonal feeling for women that tipped me off, not my attraction to men." AN
Never liked sports, emotional side. Many female friends." KI

"But yeah, I played with Barbies with my sister. XD Dressing up was always fun (funny as I always seemed to end up with women's clothing. Yeah, and of course the whole staring at guys thing...though I didn't realize why I was staring." SW

"I was really sensitive, but I was really boyish in a lot of ways too. But, once I put on this article of clothing meant for a girl... 'cause it kept you warm... and I was freezing. But then, my mother FREAKED, never put on anything after that =P
Hmmm... Never played with Barbies... that was a girl thing to play with, that was hammered into my brain very early on, the role of women and the role of men. What's appropriate for each sex to do, etc? Hmm... In kindergarten and preschool I really enjoyed the "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" game... but I got caught once, and it was a catholic school... so I never did THAT again.
So yeah, it was pretty obvious I liked boys... I don't know how my parents could possibly think I'm straight after that incident at the school." PE

"Well, in the second grade a kissed a boy. I think that might have been one of the only pointers I could think of." BN

Cybersex

Cybersex or netsex or computer sex takes place when two or more people (we'll stick to guys in this discussion) connect through the internet to send sexually explicit messages to each other. In reality it is a type of role-playing where the guys involved are trying to get virtually laid. Freed from the limitations of face-to-face encounters, the players have the ability to do anything and everything they ever imagined in acting out their ultimate fantasies with each other where reality is no barrier, pain does not exist, and they can soar where they couldn't in real life.

One approach to cybering is a simulation of "real" sex, where the participants try to make the experience as close to real life as possible, with participants taking turns writing descriptive, sexually explicit passages. Every fantasy is possible: You be the man home alone and I'll be the paperboy collecting and you invite me in and my clothes are wet and you offer to dry my clothes in the dryer and I get undressed and my towel slips down and…. And so the story of seduction continues as each participant dutifully types their lines, sending them into cyberspace as the passion rises and the one-handed typing continues. Only to often end in a sticky mess at both ends.

Each role-playing member can be the epitome of what they cannot be in real life –the masochist, the exhibitionist, the sadist, the dominator, the innocent young and naïve boy. Most people who engage in cybersex consider it harmless entertainment. The ultimate in safer sex. Every night you can play a new role with the same partner or a new one. For many there is the incredible rush of excitement in describing naughty acts only imagined in fantasies but now playing out with a total stranger in the safe isolation of your own bedroom. Anonymous sex.

My personal experience with cybersex
I began to engage in cybersex when I was 14 and joined an internet relay chat (irc) network called "#gayboysex". There I met stevieboy who was 17 and we would often engage in masturbatory erotic role-playing encounters. I did cyber with others also but soon we were "going together" and would spend hours online daily - chatting, discussing ideas and problems and usually ending up with a panting session. I learned so much from Stevie. He was a master of the erotic in spinning a story and it wasn't long before I could match him. And we were faithful to each other. I felt I knew Stevie like no other and could confide everything in him and him in me. Like all relationships we would have our little fights and arguments but we always made up. I was in love with Stevie. But we lived on opposite sides of different countries and we knew it could never work out in real life for us. Then I met a boy in real life. One I had known when I was much younger but had lost contact with and then met in a mall by chance encounter. Stevie gave wise advice in me getting to know if this boy was gay, and encouraged me to get involved with my new friend. His name was Billy and I did get involved. In time Stevie felt it was time for him to withdraw. I fought that idea with the argument that I had enough love for both of them. But Stevie, being older and wiser, knew better and broke off the relationship 5 years ago. We still send each other cards but no longer the gold chains and more expensive gifts. Today Billy is my partner and my days of cybersex are long gone. The strange thing is that I don't miss it at all. But I could miss the long conversations with Stevie if it were not for my new love.

What are the advantages & disadvantages of cybersex?
Contrary to my view at the time, many see cybersex as a humorous, pointless, silly and demeaning act that carries no real emotional involvement. Others believe that the sexual feeling exhibited by participants in virtual intercourse is very real and can be just as emotionally significant as feelings that occur during sexual intercourse. It also can play an important role in long-distance relationships.

Today cybersex is most commonly performed in internet chat rooms and on internet messaging systems. The increasing popularity of webcams adds a new dimensions as the participants can now expose themselves to their online
chat partners enhancing the encounter
with a visual aspect.

Many see cybersex as a means to satisfy sexual desires without the risk of STDs. It also affords a sexual outlet to couples who are apart for some length of time due to job demands. It allows people to engage in fantasies that are too risky in real life or are not practical. It can also help those who are shy to practice to their skills and rehearse in a safe environment.

Still some see cybersex as a form of infidelity –not in a physical sense but in an emotional context. It can also lead to the breakup of real life relationships if one partner becomes involved in a cybersexual relationship. There is also the very real danger that you never really know who the other person is. You could end up with absurd situations where you have two senior citizens both pretending to be young teens having cybersex together. A major problem is that the anonymity of cybersex encourages pedophiles to seek out underage cybersex partners. Police officers sometimes pose as underage boys in chat rooms to bait these pedophiles. Many condemn this practice as entrapment.

How can I protect myself?
If you do engage in cybersex and do meet someone online, never agree to meet them in a private place. Always tell someone where you are going and who you plan to meet. If you have no one to tell leave a note somewhere so that if you cannot return home on your own will, someone at home will find the note and be able to trace your path and perhaps save your life. Meet only in a very public place like a coffee shop so that you can leave if you don't like the situation. Be careful. Be very careful

Consequences of Having Anal Sex

Why is anal sex so risky? There is no doubt that anal sex can be risky -very risky. Even when you use plenty of lubrication during anal sex, the tissue inside the anus is much more delicate than your skin and can tear. Your skin has many layers of dead cells that act as a protective barrier. However the tissue in the anus has no such protection and can tear easily.
	The anus is usually held closed by a sphincter, which is a muscle that goes around the opening of the anus. Here the person who is going to receive anal sex (the bottom) is shown lying face down, and the penis is shown at the right before it comes in contact with the anus.
	The penis begins to put pressure on the anus as the man tries to push his penis into the anus. The extra pressure on the anus causes the sphincter muscle around the anus to contract tightly. This sphincter tightening is a reflex and it happens automatically, as the body was designed to keep things from entering the anus from outside.
	The penis has begun to push deeper into the anus. The tight fit of the penis in the anus (which is closed by the anal sphincter) causes small tears in the interior parts of the anus even though there may not be any obvious signs of bleeding. Slow penetration with lots of lubrication can reduce this risk but not eliminate it.
These tears while very tiny are much much larger than the size of a virus. In effect they act like a super-highway providing fast and easy access for viruses into the body. For this reason, anal sex is the riskiest form of sexual activity when it comes to the transmission of HIV/AIDS. Anal tears provide an opening for all the other STDs as well. It may be possible for repetitive anal sex to lead to weakening of the anal sphincter, which is the muscle that tightens after we defecate. Once weakened, feces can escape the anus against our will -not a very pleasant situation, but also not that common. This is why you should always use a condom and plenty of the proper lubrication when engaging in anal sex.

Who's doing it?

Today's kids are bombarded with sexual imagery, lingo and innuendo. They're coming of age in a heightened and raunchy sexual culture. But that doesn't mean they know as much as they think they know. In fact from the letters we get here at ChadzBoyz for the Ask Chad column, it is clear than many know very little about sex. Once puberty hits, when the hormones rage and curiosity peaks, too many teens are making decisions about sexual behaviour without adequate or consistent sex education. And too many gay boys as young as 12 and 13 feel they must have a boyfriend -now!

Consider Andrew, 14, who figures almost half his friends in Grade 9 have been sexually active but says at his Catholic school they've learned about the withdrawal method and nothing about condoms and nothing about gay sex.

Some of the older teens like Brian in Grade 11 found his sex education in the early years of high school pretty good -if you were straight. But nothing was said about gay sex. And since he no longer takes Physical Education and Health, those classes are over for him.

Then there's Tim in grade 8 who has already had anal sex three times with an older boy without protection each time because the older boy told him it was ok and he was disease free.

Ontario curriculum guidelines outline the topics — puberty in Grades 5 and 6, protected sex, AIDS and STIs in Grade 7, and contraception in Grade 8 — but teachers stress that kids will frequently raise questions about things that are outside the guidelines. Those can range from questions about "what does wearing a condom feel like" to inquiries about "anal and gay sex".


What are the most recent statistics?
A quarter to one-third of Grade 9 students have been involved in sexual activity.

Sexually transmitted diseases are on the rise and many teens are engaging in risky sexual behaviour.

One in four teens age 14 to 17 didn't use protection against STIs (sexually transmitted infections) the last time they had sex, according to a recent survey by the Canadian Association for Adolescent Health (CAAH).

The same poll showed one in five didn't know oral sex poses a health risk, and a quarter thought oral sex was the equivalent of abstinence.

Ejaculation occur

Ejaculation is the process of ejecting semen from the penis, and is usually accompanied by an orgasm as a result of sexual excitement. If it occurs spontaneously during sleep it is commonly called a wet dream. This can be brought on by a particularly vivid and exciting sexual dream.

Precum is a lubricating, clear, sticky fluid that flows out of the urethra of most men when they are sexually excited. Most guys first notice this as an embarrassing wet spot on their pants. It prepares the urethra for semen by neutralizing any traces of urine in the urethra so that the sperm are not damaged on their way out. The other thing it does is to lubricate the movement of the foreskin over the glans - if you have a foreskin. This is the base fluid for sperm, which need something to carry them and to buffer the vagina's pH to a suitable value that will let them survive long enough to travel into the uterus and up to the Fallopian Tubes. Precum semen fluid can contain small amounts of sperm. There seems to be some dispute about whether the pre-cum sperm can cause pregnancy but caution is wise if you are also involved with girls. The amount of precum fluid various greatly from man to man and all amounts of precum are normal.

Ejaculation is a reflex which usually cannot be stopped once it has started, at least not without painful cramping. It takes place in two stages 1) emission and 2) ejaculation. During emission, smooth muscles contract and propel mature sperm from the end portions of the epididymis -where it was stored- through a long tube (vas deferens) inside the body, just beneath the bladder. The beginning of emission is typically experienced as a "point of no return" because at this point the brain receives a signal that ejaculation is about to happen and that nothing can stop the orgasm.

From there, the sperm get mixed with nutrient-rich fluids from the seminal vesicles and a milky secretion from the prostate gland. This combination of sperm and fluids is called semen. During ejaculation, the semen is ejected through the urethra with rhythmical contractions.

The semen does three things:

* Provides a watery environment in which the sperm cells can swim while outside the body
* Provides nutrients for the sperm cells (fructose, amino acids, vitamin C)
* Protects the sperm cells by neutralizing acids in the female's sexual tract

The force and amount of cum vary widely from male to male. A normal ejaculation may contain anywhere from 2 to 15 mL -from half a teaspoon to a tablespoon- although 5 to 7 mL is typical. The amount of cum is highly dependent on how recent the last previous ejaculation was. In other words, an ejaculation soon after a previous ejaculation will be very small, but will be much larger if ejaculation has not occurred for two days or longer.

In most men, the more semen ejaculated the more pleasurable an orgasm they experience. Some men may be able to shoot their ejaculate a distance of half a metre, while for others, the semen may simply ooze out of the penis.

What are the male sex organ parts?

What are the important parts of the penis?
Your penis consists of a shaft of erectile tissue covered in smooth skin that's slightly darker than the rest of your body. This erectile tissue is rich in tiny pool-shaped blood vessels that allow the blood to flood the penis upon arousal. As the penis fills with blood, it stands erect pointing away from the body. Some stick straight out, some straight up and everything in between. All are normal variations.

Near the end of the penis shaft, the skin becomes darker or pinker. The foreskin is a retractable double-layered fold of skin and mucous membrane that covers the glans penis and protects the urethra. The outside of the foreskin is like the skin on the shaft of the penis but the inner foreskin is a mucous membrane like the inside of the eyelid or the mouth. Like the eyelid, the foreskin is free to move. Smooth muscle fibres keep it close to the glans but make it highly elastic. If the foreskin is intact it rolls over the head or "glans" of the penis. The glans is a spongy bulbous knob that is extremely sensitive. A noticeable ridge runs around the top and most of the bottom of the head. This ridge is known as the corona. Just before climax, the head becomes swollen and darkens or reddens in colour. This is a clue, as if you needed it, that you are about to shoot a load of cum (semen).

The penis has a small opening at the tip called the meatus or urethra where the urethra opens to allow urine and semen out of the body. This is an erogenous zone for many men. Erogenous just means responsive or sensitive to sexual stimulation. When you are aroused the urethra is blocked from the bladder and the urge to urinate is shut off.

The frenulum, or frenum, is a connecting membrane on the underside of the penis, similar to that beneath the tongue. This is one of the most sensitive spots on the male body and is one of the most erogenous zones; stimulation of the frenulum results in intense pleasurable feelings during arousal. Sensations from both the frenulum and the corona during intercourse or masturbation are thought to be the primary trigger of orgasm in the male.

It is believed that stimulation of the glans is most significant in the later stages of sexual intercourse, when penetration is deepest and emotions are running at their highest. Sensations from the glans contribute to the quality of the sensual experience.

The testicles are the sperm-producing "balls" that reside in an external sac called the scrotum. This location is important because in order for the sperm to develop properly, they must be kept at a slightly lower temperature (95 to 97 degrees Fahrenheit, 35 to 36 degrees Celsius) than normal body temperature (98.6 F, 37 C).
When air temperature rises, the balls drop, and get further from the body to keep their cool. In colder temperatures the scrotum tightens and pulls the balls closer to the body to warm the sperm. At orgasm, the testicles usually scrunch up even tighter, sometimes seeming to disappear against the penis base.
The testicles are also the main source of the male hormone, testosterone , and as such are psychologically important to a man's sense of masculinity.

The scrotum is also very sensitive to the touch, especially once you are aroused. During arousal, the scrotum engorges with blood, scrunches up and pulls the testicles closer into the body. Scrotum skin darkens in color and is sensitive to stroking, cupping with the hand and gentle caressing and scratching. It is natural for the scrotum to be covered with some pubic hair though usually not as dense as found above and around the penis.

Traveling down lower, the area between the scrotum and the anus is called the perineum. Stroking it gently or touching it lightly with a fingertip can provide very pleasurable feelings.

Going even lower we find the anus, hidden between the male buttocks. The anus is a soft, puckered opening that's a very erogenous zone in its own right. Rub your finger around the area to feel the sensations but keep this area very clean.

There you have our quick tour of the male sexual and erogenous zones.

How do I use a condom?

	First check the expiration date and if ok, carefully tear open the sealed condom packet to avoid damaging the condom. Don't use sharp objects like scissors to open the packet - as this may tear the condom. Discard the condom and use another one if the condom is torn or brittle.
	To increase sensation put a drop of water-based lubricant such as KY or saliva inside the tip of the condom. If you are uncircumcized, pull back your foreskin. Place the rolled-up condom over the tip of the hard penis. The tip of the condom should be facing up. Leave a one centimetre (half-inch) space at the tip of the condom for the semen.
	Pinch the air out of the tip of the condom while you use the other hand to roll the condom all the way down the hard shaft of the penis.
	Most condoms today are pre-lubricated but it is still wise to add plenty of water based lubricant to the outside of the condom. Do not use any oils or petroleum jelly (Vaseline) as they will damage the condom causing possible failure. The use of a condom without lube might damage it during the sex. Note that water does not work as lube and you need to add more lube if your session is long.
	After ejaculation, pull out of the anus (or mouth) slowly before the penis gets soft. Grip the base of the condom so it doesn't slide off when you pull out. This will prevent the semen from spilling out.
	Remove the condom from your partner and dispose of it in a waste basket. Do not flush it down the toilet as this can block the plumbing. Never use the same condom twice even if you wash it.

The Do's & Don'ts of Condom Use

DO's::

* DO use only latex condoms.
* DO check the expiration date carefully. Old condoms can be dry, brittle or weakened and can break more easily.
* DO put the condom on a hard penis before there is any contact with a partner's genitals.
* DO squeeze the air out of the tip of the condom when rolling it over the erect penis to allow room for the semen.
* DO use plenty of water-based lubricant like KY Jelly® with latex condoms. This reduces friction and helps prevent the condom from tearing.
* DO check that the condom is on your partner's penis as he inserts it. Feel back there to be sure.
* DO use a new condom for each insertion if having group sex.
* DO hold the condom in place at the base of the penis before pulling out after sex.
* DO store condoms in a cool, dry place.
* DO throw the condom away after it's been used.

DON'Ts:

* DON'T use a sharp object or your teeth when opening a condom wrapper. It's very easy to cut or tear the condom inside. If you do tear a condom while opening the wrapper, throw it condom away and get a new one.
* DON'T unroll the condom before putting it on the erect penis.
* DON'T use an unsealed condom from someone else
* DON'T leave condoms in hot places like your wallet or in your car.
* DON'T use oil-based products, like baby or cooking oils, hand lotion or a petroleum jelly like Vaseline® as lubricants with latex condoms. These oils can quickly weaken latex and can cause the condom to break.
* DON'T reuse a condom. Always use a new condom for each kind of sex you have.

* DON'T regularly use lubricants with a spermicide called nonoxynol-9 ("N-9"). Although once thought to protect against HIV, new studies report that these can cause skin irritations or tiny abrasions that make the genital skin more susceptible to STDs.

Essential in Gay Dating

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Whether you are gay, bisexual or bi-curious, finding that perfect date can be a daunting task, especially if you are stepping out for the first time.

How should you dress? Where should you go? What should you say or not to say? One thing is for sure, remember to be yourself and be relaxed. Below are a series of gay dating tips aimed at helping you make that date a real success.

The top gay dating tips:

1. Location, location, location! Choosing a meeting place is extremely important. Agree to meet at a place that is neutral, not too far from your dwellings and be familiar with the area. You would want to also choose a place that is not too noisy or rowdy, more like a quiet bar where you can both communicate and be heard effectively.

2. Concentrate my dear! Dating can always be extremely tense and nerve racking, especially if you are the quiet or shy type. One point to remember is to listen carefully to what your date has to say, this will enable you to relate and connect more easily.

3. A little bit of give and take: Share the conversation, ask as many questions as you like, feel free to talk about yourself, but also be courteous and listen to what the other person has to say.

4. What was in the past is better left in the past: Do not dwell in the past and absolutely refrain from mentioning your past relationships and negative experiences. Remember, every first date is a new beginning and should be treated like one. So, feel confident and be optimistic, stick to the present and the future. Show your date that his time is now and that you have no left over baggage.

5. Radiate: Show your inner glow and be positive. There is nothing like a positive and optimistic person. It shows a good level of confidence, which is definitely attractive in many people's eyes. Bury your negative thoughts and think positive.

6. To hump or not to hump? It has been proven time and time again that one night stands or "hi how are you, let's have sex" encounters do not last the test of time or more than 24 hours for that matter. If that is what you are seeking, fine, but just play it SAFE, otherwise you may want to concentrate further on the conversation and leave sex for another time. This will show that you are genuinely interested in your date and wish to take matters further.

7. Easy come, easy go: There is no need to rush the situation. Take your time, give yourself and the other person time to breath and discover how you truly feel about each other. It is not advisable to become too serious too quickly at an early stage in the dating process. This might easily scare off the other person who may not feel ready for a relationship or commitment.

8. Honesty shall set you free: There is no point in beating around the bush. Be true to yourself and your feelings towards this person. If you feel you are not getting the attention you deserve, let yourself be heard. If your interest is not reciprocated, direct your attention on somebody that will appreciated it. Like wise, if you grow dissatisfied or lose interest in the person, let it be known.

9. R.E.S.P.E.C.T: One of the most important gay dating tips is to treat the other person with the same level of respect as you feel you deserve. There is no point in wasting time and playing games, return their phone calls and speak to them. If you are not interested, have the decency of letting the person know rather than taking them on a roller coaster ride of uncertainty.Meeting someone new is never easy, let alone dating them. We hope these gay dating tips have given you a valuable insight into etiquettes involved with dating. We wish you the very best of luck and hope that you keep these gay dating tips in mind.

Do Gay Gals Worry About the Package? Should We?

By Susan Forrest

I've identified myself as gay since I was very young. I have gone through many phases in my life, from a downwardly mobile, yet elitist women-centered world, to a life surrounded by gay boys, to more balanced acquaintenceship with all bents and genders. The same rules applied regardle

ss of the crowd I was running with: there were certain things you must think/do/feel/be to be a lesbian, dyke, activist, feminist, fag-hag, etc.

When I came out, lesbians were very strident in their definition of a lesbian. Either you were a lesbian, or you weren't. Period. If you were, it meant that you never hung out with or enjoyed the company of men, nor thought about dating or having sex with them. If you were bisexual (I don't remember ever hearing that word until I began working in social services) you were a user and a destroyer of the lesbian community and you would eventually go back to a man, breaking the heart of the poor real lesbian you destroyed.

Lesbians never injected drugs, hurt one another, engaged in sex work, or did anything that would put us at risk of anything besides perhaps a carpentry-related accident. Of course, lesbians were allowed to acknowledge they were at risk of becoming victims of rape, abuse, alcoholism and so on. If anything bad happened to a real lesbian, it wasn't her fault or responsibility.

In the late '80s I fell in with the AIDS-activist crowd in San Francisco and was swept along by the romance and excitement of living the kind of lifestyle wherein I couldn't ride a bus without getting at least one phone number. It was exhilarating. Here I encountered the same expectations I had in the lesbian community a decade before, but with different rules. The Puritanism of the lesbian community in the late '70s was not much different than the gay and AIDS-activist groups I fell in with later.

In politically correct San Francisco, everyone learns the party line and no one strays (or admits it). Amidst the endless meetings, demonstrations and play parties, all I ever heard was that you had to act as if everyone was positive, every time.

What did that mean? Don't be divisive by asking anyone's HIV status. Do engage in safe sex. Don't assess risk. Everything sexual was dangerous but it was our responsibility as queers to have as much sex as possible and remember, if you got infected, it wasn't your partner's fault. And it wasn't your fault, either. It was the government, or the media's lack of representation, or our inability to access information.

Sometimes I followed the rules. I never talked about it when I didn't. It was blasphemous to think there might be a remote possibility that female-to-female sexual transmission was unlikely.

Safely back in Los Angeles now, I can say that taking the potential risk of HIV infection away from the lesbians back then was akin to kicking them out of the sandbox. It seemed as if no one was protecting themselves out of concern for HIV-infection. Honestly: Does anyone think that a finger cot will prevent transmission of HIV? It seemed to me that the dykes were just following the rules because that was the politically correct thing to do.
I don't mess around with the ladies like I used to. I usually know the HIV status of my partners now before I have sex, because I usually know my partners before I have sex. I have decided what I consider safe and what I'm willing to protect. Sometimes I hold myself to my own standards, and sometimes I don't. As a lesbian, I think it's easier for me to relax my standards because I really don't think that female-to-female sexual transmission is likely.

Do lesbians see themselves as being at risk for HIV infection through gal-on-gal sex? To find out, I e-mailed an informal survey to about 15 friends. Some of my friends forwarded the survey to their friends, and so on. I got about 46 responses. I selected comments from those who responded.

Have you ever been tested for HIV? Why or why not?Yes-79%; No-21%
"Yes, because I foolishly had unsafe sex on multiple occasions with a woman whose history I really didn't know." "No. I give blood on a regular basis and haven't received a notice from them." "Yes, because I met a woman with HIV and had been having unsafe sex with women and a condom slipped with a man I was fucking." "Yes, because my partner at the time was HIV-positive."
I found that of the 79 percent of the respondents who had gotten HIV tests, the only time they considered sexual transmission as an issue was if their partner had engaged in risky behavior. Only 1 respondent stated she had been with an HIV-positive partner.
None of those who responded identified themself as an HIV-positive lesbian. But an overwhelming majority of the respondents claimed to know, or know of, HIV-positive women who identify themselves as lesbians.

Do you feel that you are at risk of getting infected or, if you are positive, infecting your partner(s)? Why or why not?Yes-20%; No-80%

"Slight risk as I've slept with bisexual women." "I'm not promiscuous, never used IV drugs, not in a high-risk group." "Risks are present in everything that we do, but I do my best to manage them."

Eighty-percent of the respondents felt that they were not at risk of sexually transmitted HIV from their female partners. Only two respondents mentioned that they take precautions.
Are you single/married/other? Did/does the issue of HIV transmission ever come up? How so?Single-38%; Dating-16%; Partnered/monogamous-46%
"Yes, it came up because my girlfriend was in a relationship with someone who died of AIDS and she used IV drugs with him." "In finding a lover, I bring the topic up and if there's any negative vibes from the potential lover about HIV status I don't bother with them." "Both lesbians and straight men seem to have enormous denial about potential risk, so I need to raise it." "HIV transmission never comes up."

Most of the women who responded bring up the topic of HIV when they begin dating someone new, usually asking their partner if they have been tested. It is notable that more of the respondents ask their partners if they have been tested than actually get tested themselves. It seems that knowing their partner's HIV-status is more critical in making choices about sexual behavior than knowing their own status.

What behaviors do you, as a lesbian, think would put you at risk of HIV infection?"Contact with blood or other bodily fluids." "Assuming a partner is HIV-negative would be a risk, and then ignoring the issue all together and having unsafe sex would escalate that." "Oral sex without a barrier is possibly risky, although I don't always end up using a barrier even though I believe that." "[Aside from the 'bible' of HIV prevention] I realize that for myself and many other women, practicing safer sex isn't really an option all the time and that although there may be an element of risk in having 'unprotected' sex, I weigh that risk and make independent decisions." "Sex with an infected partner, male or female." "Anything that involves blood or where there is potential to cause bleeding (fisting, anal play, cutting, etc.)."

Only two women mentioned having sex with an HIV-positive woman as being a risk factor. Other risk factors cited were promiscuity, sex with men, injection drug use and sex with women who do any of the afore-mentioned things. The few who mentioned oral sex all stated they thought there was a risk but they chose not to use barriers some or all of the time.
What do you do (if anything) to protect yourself or your partner from HIV infection?"I take off my rings." "Monogamy." "I keep gloves/dental dams at all times and use them." "I am guilty. I don't take any precautions." "I choose my sexual partners very carefully." "Nothing. We are not at risk."

Monogamy was the overwhelming method of HIV-prevention. That was followed by not using protection whatsoever. Considering the shopping list of things women considered to be risky in their sex lives (see preceding question), only two respondents mentioned latex barriers.
Do you think HIV is an issue in the lesbian community? Why or why not?"Lesbian community?" "The only reason HIV is an issue in the lesbian community is because lesbians haven't figured out how to make yeast infections an epic tragedy -- yet." "I think it's an issue for anyone who has sex!" "Sure it is. Is alcoholism an issue in the lesbian community? Substance abuse? Ignorance? Anyone who has sex is at risk, period. Anyone who is out of control, has poor judgment derived from a state influenced by any drug substance is at risk (for the obvious reasons of not being responsible, having poor judgment). And more and more lesbians are having sexual interludes with men. Sure it's occasional, but it's there. Plus, it's an issue because there are HIV-positive dykes."

Many women thought HIV should be an issue in the lesbian community despite the fact that they don't see it as much of an issue in their lives. It seems several of the respondents are concerned about the number of lesbians who engage in unprotected sex; looking back on the answers to the previous question, however, a majority of the respondents seem to be in that category themselves.

Have you ever read anything, or seen anything that was about HIV that made you think, "this could happen to me"?"A girl I slept with died from HIV complications a few years ago." "At a conference on women and HIV years ago, I remember thinking that one of the other dyke activists was really cute, and then she stood up and said she was positive. It made me realize just how close it really could be." "Having an HIV-positive partner certainly makes it up close and personal. I think woman-to-woman transmission is very difficult, but I know it can happen. While we were together, I was always aware I could become infected." "Yes, but it always related to what I had done with men in my past. Nothing I've read ever made me feel I was at a great risk for HIV infection by having sex with exclusively women."
Almost everyone stated they had an experience that personalized HIV for them. This doesn't seem to translate into prevention methods.

Do you think prevention efforts should be directed at the "lesbian community"?"I think prevention efforts should be directed at the entire population. Education on any level would apply to all communities." "Yes, I do because I don't think the lesbian community has enough concern about any sexually transmitted diseases. I think they need to understand that just because there are no penises involved doesn't mean we are immune." "Yes, some. But without hysteria." "Yes and no. I think our largest risks as lesbian/bisexual women are from injection drug use, and having sex with positive men. I think the 'lesbian community' often defines itself to exclude IDUs, sex workers, and bi women. Perhaps educational efforts would be best focused around us all being part of the same community, or at least that we're having sex with each other. I'm not sure a single-minded focus on 'lesbian safe sex' is the way to go." "We need to focus on issues that affect most lesbians' lives and begin to start a movement based on our total health."

Unprotected sex with women wasn't listed as a possible risk unless the partners in question were IDUs or bisexual (only one respondent mentioned having an HIV positive partner as being a risk). Well, if you believe an IDU or a bisexual could transmit HIV through female-to-female sex, what's to stop a non-IDU or not-perceived-to-be-at-risk lesbian from transmitting HIV (assuming the woman is HIV-positive)? Some things never change: "Pure lesbians are not responsible for anything."

I am not discounting the fact that there are HIV-positive lesbians. On the contrary, because the numbers of women becoming infected are so low, the fact that there are HIV-positive lesbians is indicative to me that transmission via woman-to-woman sexual contact is difficult.
I think a comment from one of the respondents sums it up: "I think health efforts should be directed at the lesbian community. Trying to jump on the HIV train doesn't seem to be the best way to reach most lesbians with our total health issues. Some lesbians have and will get HIV. We must make sure that good information is available to lesbians about how to prevent transmission. I think to raise the HIV banner and demand that lesbians are included puts too much effort on a smaller issue than we need to be addressing. HIV should absolutely be included in messages about lesbian health, but it's the bigger picture that needs dramatic attention, not just this one small piece of the picture. We need to include HIV, not highlight HIV."

Gay Kiss

This video clip is one of the Gay art kiss that can be done everywhere,anywhere and elsewhere. Enjoy doing this and this is how you do it, watch the video...

How To Make Your Penis Look Bigger

Not all men are born hung like bulls, which is a pretty sad fact for most of us average guys. But that does not mean that you have to be exposed to the calculating eyes of ladies just as you were born. Men may be average in size, but some are still determined and clever enough to find ways of going round this problem.

So what can you do about it? Well, there are some simple tricks that you should always keep in mind like you keep that pack of condoms at the bottom of your jeans pocket: on a "just in case" basis. The first trick to make your penis look bigger than it is to shave or trim the pubic hair. You may think it to be one the things girls like about you or the secret of your famous endurance, but let me tell you: you want those extra inches, even if they're just a trick. Pubic hair can sometimes hide the true size of a penis, so out it goes. Or just trim it, as you feel like it.

Another simple trick is to lose weight. Yep, getting rid of that pouch hanging in front of you or shedding part of the fat pad that hides the base of the penis can also provide you with some "magic" extra inches. I don't think I have to tell you that your penis would look better poking straight out from your pubic area and not fighting to get out fro under your belly. Go for a diet or some exercises. Or both.

The final nice trick is to take a long, hot shower before sex. This will serve to expand the blood vessels and to draw the blood flow to the penis. A slight expansion is likely, as the ensuing arousal will bring even more blood to this area and create the illusion of a bigger penis. Hot, relaxing showers can also be a sexy beginning of your foreplay.

Many Straight Men Have Gay Sex

Nearly one in 10 men who say they're straight have sex only with other men, a New York City survey finds.

And 70% of those straight-identified men having sex with men are married.

In fact, 10% of all married men in this survey report same-sex behavior during the past year.

This means safe-sex messages aimed at straight and gay men are likely missing this important subgroup, suggest Preeti Pathela, DrPH, New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, and colleagues.

"To reduce the burden of sexually transmitted diseases and HIV infection among men who have sex with men, it is of utmost importance for [health care] providers to take a sexual history that ascertains the sex of a partner," Pathela and colleagues report. "Asking about a patient's sexual identity will not adequately assess his risk."

Straight Men Who Have Sex With Men

In 2003, Pathela's team performed telephone interviews with nearly 4,200 New York City men. They conducted the interviews in English, Spanish, Chinese, and Russian; a translation service helped with interviews in Greek, Korean, Yiddish, Polish, and Haitian Creole.

In nearly every study of sexual behavior, the percentage of men who report sex with men is higher than the percentage of men who report being gay.

So Pathela and colleagues first asked the men if they were bisexual, gay, or straight. Then they asked about specific sexual behaviors.

Some of the findings:

• Straight-identified men who have sex with men report fewer sex partners than gay men.
• Straight-identified men who have sex with men report fewer STDs in the past year than gay men.
• Straight-identified men who have sex with men are less likely than gay men to report using a condom during their last sexual encounter.
• Straight-identified men who have sex with men are more likely to be foreign born than gay men.

Also, a man who says he is straight but is having sex with other men is more likely to be married than a straight man who has sex with women, according to the survey. Only 54% of the men who say they're straight and have sex with women are married, compared with the 70% marriage rate among the men who say they're straight but have sex with men.

Pathela and colleagues note that because they report fewer STDs and fewer sex partners than gay men, straight-identified men who have sex with men may think they are at lower risk of HIV and STDs. This isn't necessarily so.

The men with whom these straight-identified men have sex may themselves have multiple sex partners and elevated STD and HIV risk. The low rate of condom use makes the straight-identified men vulnerable.

"Prevention messages should focus on the activities that pose risk -- for example, unprotected receptive anal sex -- and should not be framed to appeal solely to gay-identified men," Pathela and colleagues suggest.

Sex Tips for Gay Guys

Many gay men got their first explicit glimpse of the future by sneaking teenage peeks at the infamous "Joy of Gay Sex" at their local Waldenbooks. Those line drawings of hippy-haired queers going at it, surrounded by text as technical as an auto manual's, have met their 21st-century match in "Sex Tips for Gay Guys," by Dan Anderson.

Alas, the volume is devoid of copulation pictures. But more vital than all that, Anderson delves into the particularly complex ecosystem of the gay male sex world. From having sex with a 12-stepper to spotting cling-ons at a gay bar to explaining what the heck M&M is, no stone is left unturned. (Although the leather crowd may bristle at his tendency to poo-poo and quickly gloss over anything beyond vanilla.)

Here is a volume a gay teenager can really use. Goodness knows, we learn soon enough what goes where, but the more subtle aspects of gay mating, like how to handle a bossy bottom or politely dodge unwanted trolls, are what everyone needs help with time and again. In this area, Anderson excels. By explaining that the drag queen will be the one to untape her genitals before sex (without your help), and that Pig Dicks (guys who hold back ejaculating while you do all the work) need to be treated harshly, he's written a manual we can really put to use. Explicit tactics for teethless blow jobs, no-pain bottoming, and disease-free rimming are all included.

Hand Job

A hand job is the manual stimulation of another person's genitals with the intent of causing an orgasm. The term "hand job" is a synonym for mutual masturbation (which can occur between two people of the opposite sex or of the same sex), however, "hand job" is most commonly used in reference to manual stimulation being performed on a male. This article will focus exclusively on the "hand job" as providing manual stimulation to a male.

The glans or "head" of the penis, one of the most sensitive parts of the penis

Hand jobs are one of many ways that a penis can be pleasured and the reasons for choosing to provide pleasure via a hand job can vary. Some men consider hand jobs to be an extremely pleasurable experience that ads variety to their sex lives, while others feel that a hand job is a variation on masturbation and is therefore less satisfying.

Some men who enjoy hand jobs feel that it is an opportunity for the entire focus of pleasure to be on them. The goal of their partner is solely to provide pleasure and the only job the receiver has is to lay back and enjoy. Also, hand jobs can be performed in such a manner that introduces an extremely wide variety of sensations and spontaneous variations while working towards an orgasm. The partner performing the hand job can also derive pleasure from watching the receiver enjoy themselves and sometimes feel a sense of power by being able to bring about an orgasm.

While masturbating, the women can also apply the start-stop technique to keep the erection prolonged. This is recommened by many therapists. Yet, this start-stop is often very frustrating to a man. Better rely on more successful techniques to keep a hard-on as long as you wish.

Other men, however, can sometimes feel that a hand job is less pleasurable than vaginal sex or other forms of stimulation. In addition to the feeling of the stimulation itself being somewhat familiar -- in that the method may be similar or identical to the male's normal method of masturbation -- there may also sometimes be a feeling of physical disconnect from their partner that can result from positioning or lack of stimulation to other parts of the body. Still others feel that anything short of vaginal sex does not count as sex.

As with any form of sexual expression, communication is key to understanding what your partner enjoys and doesn't enjoy.

Ultimately, if you're in relationship with your partner, the best thing to do is spend some time exploring his body and watching him respond to the different ways you touch him. In some cases, especially if you are new to touching a penis, it can be a very good idea to ask him to show you how he stimulates himself. This is not to say that you want to replicate what he does exactly as he does it, after all you want it to feel different and better than masturbation, but you can get a feel for whether he likes gentle caressing touches, or more aggressive contact.

Here are some basic ideas to get started with. If you're performing for the first time with a new partner, be sure to keep an eye on his face to see how he responds.

G-Spot! Where to Find it?

Many people have heard about the infamous female G-spot and, well, believe it or not, the male also has one but it’s not really called a G-spot as such! It’s only referred to as one because it drives most men crazy with desire.

So, where and what exactly is it?

Its proper name is the Prostate gland, and it situated just below the bladder, surrounding the urethra. It’s about the size of a walnut and its main function is to produce, store and secrete a clear fluid that constitutes up to one-third of the volume of semen.

When this particular gland is stimulated during vaginal or anal intercourse it can intensify a man’s orgasm to the point of distraction. Is it any wonder that they spend so much time on the loo? The Prostate can be reached by insertion of a finger, penis or vibrator and a gentle massage can produce deep and wonderful sexual feelings.

Something of interest lies parallel to how women were medically treated for a condition known as hysteria (see article The History of the Vibrator.) In a similar way, men were also treated back in World War 2 for ‘pelvic congestion’, a disorder brought on by lack of sexual stimulation. Medics then would give prostate massages using a steel device or their fingers to relieve sexual frustrations.

Stimulation of the prostate gland can be either touched whilst the male is fully aroused or can be stimulated to increase erections. Have a heart to heart with your partner to find out just how he prefers his prostate to be stimulated. He may surprise you and say that he would rather you didn’t!

If it turns out he does like his prostate massaged, though, as with anything new or unexplored, care should be taken and individual preferences should be taken into account.

To begin, make sure that you are both are comfortable and use water based lubrication to prevent friction. Ladies, cover one of your fingers with lube and slowly insert it into his rectum. Tell your man to relax and go with the strange feelings to begin with as much as possible. It may not be necessary to insert your whole finger to begin with as the most sensitive nerves are closer to the anus hole. Only when he is comfortable with your finger should you try and insert it further to seek out his prostate. Experiment a little by slowly inserting and pulling your finger out and see how he responds. Of course, he may not be new at this but if you are, go at the pace you feel comfortable with.

Once you are at the stage of full insertion of your finger, then slowly curl the tip upwards so that you are making a ‘come here’ kind of movement. If you are in the correct place, this motion will gently stroke your man’s prostate gland. Don’t be too surprised if he comes just by you stroking this gland. Some men can and will. It’s just a matter of finding out just exactly what your man loves.

Now, how about taking things a step further and try stimulating the gland whilst you perform oral sex on him? Start by stroking the outside of his anus with your finger whilst you suck his penis. If you feel adventurous and you know he’s clean, then use your tongue at the entrance of his anus, too.

Then, alternate between his testicles, perineum (the spot between his testicles and his anus), anus and penis. Don’t be afraid to try using all methods open to you i.e. your fingers, hands, mouth, lips, tongue, everything!

Guidelines for Prostate Play

1. Make sure that not only are you clean, men but have also been to the loo before hand. Nothing worse than feeling the urge to go when you’re in the middle of a romantic moment! Also, be aware that insertion of a finger or vibe into the rectum can trigger the ‘urge’ reflex. Medical practitioners often use a finger to encourage defecation in constipated patients.
2. Make sure that if you’re doing the inserting that your fingernails are short and trimmed with no sharp edges. If you’re concerned about this or prefer to have additional barriers then use latex gloves.
3. For easier location of the prostate gland, watch an adult movie or masturbate or indulge in some foreplay. Anything to get you in the mood. As sexual arousal takes place, the prostate gland will swell.
4. Get yourselves into a comfortable position that enables you to have full access to your or his anus.
5. Start on the outside and when your finger is well lubed, gently massage his anus and perineum. Massage it with soft, circular motions then push on the anus to help it relax.
6. When you’re both ready, slowly insert your finger using the pad first. Wait for a minute so that he can used to the feeling of your finger inside of him, and then gradually push it deeper. Try and locate the prostate gland by curling your finger tip up about 2 inches inside of his rectum.
7. Experiment with different methods of touch. Try stroking, pushing gently, pushing it in and then out or massaging it in a circular motion.
8. When you feel comfortable using fingers and are ready for something bigger or harder, try using vibrators that are designed especially for anal play or anal beads. Anal sex toys are usually flared at the base and have a curved tip for stimulation of the prostate gland. They can also have variable speeds of vibration to enable you to get used to the idea softly!

There are many different toys especially for anal sex and play, so when you’re ready to experiment make sure you read the article, Sex Toys for Anal Play for more information about this very special subject!

Gay Threesome. Fun for three?

There is one golden rule about gay threesomes: this is about sexual fantasies. It is not about love – save in that general ‘love-for-all-gay-man, we-are-tribe’ sort of thing. If you can keep love and sex separate, read on.

Gay Threesomes can be great. They are, for example, categorically imperative for spit-roast. Additionally, fucking while being fucked is something the average versatile guy might like to try before hitting thirty, if only to say he’s done it and at risk of losing the hard-on and slipping out.

There are a range of activities and sexual fantasies to try. We would only say: don’t move between partners when having anal sex without changing the condom first. We would also challenge anyone truthfully to say they’ve had two penises inside their anus at once. Feel free to have a go.

There is one further set of practical, how-to advice: you do often need to keep up a dialogue, remember there are three of you, not two plus one, and be prepared to assert yourself and push in where necessary – don’t necessarily expect to be invited in any one moment.

And then, more importantly for you in a gay threesome, there is the relationship and psychological health equation to deal with.

If you’re going in as the third, things are generally fine. You’re the fresh blood and can expect a lot of quite gratifying attention. The only problem can be if, the day after and that day on, the two others don’t want to talk to you. This can be a little dispiriting – assuming you just happen to meet, out and about, perhaps on the scene – with regards to the maturity and general ‘goodness’ of other men. That said, most people worth knowing won’t at all mind the occasional anecdotal reference afterwards.

If you’re in the two and you’re thinking of inviting the third, the rules to follow for gay threesome are these:

1. Make sure it is just sex and variety and neither you nor your partner really wants a relationship with that other person.

2. Make sure you are not going to be jealous if more attention is lavished on either of the other two people than it is on you.

3. Make sure your usual partner isn’t going to feel jealous either.

4. Make sure it’s very safe sex and keep checking the condoms, even if you don’t normally use them with your usual partner.

Many gay men are men seeking men who likes threesome online, Enter here and indulge your sexual fantasies!

Cybersex

Have you done it?

In the beginning there was sex. Then humanity became literate, and there were love letters. The march of technology gave birth to phone sex, and now, thanks to the omnipresent microprocessor, there's cybersex, the online way to get virtually laid.

Unlike online cruising, where the ultimate aim is a face-to-face (or shaft-to-shaft) meeting in real life, cybersex is an orgasm in itself, one-handed typing at its finest. At its best, it's a literary collaboration between two (or more) horny guys who spin out a short story starring themselves.

"There are times I'm horny and crave more contact than stroking off to porn, but I can't deal with actually having sex," says a cybersex aficionado. "So I sign on, find a partner, and the two of us trade Instant Messages till we shoot our loads." It certainly is nice to have sex you don't have to shower or shave for, but it does have its pitfalls.

For one thing, you have -- let's face it -- no idea who's really sending you those Instant Messages or snuggling up to you in that chatroom. "A certain amount of lying is only to be expected online," says one cruiser who's been around the cyberblock. "But since it's all in the realm of fantasy, who cares?"The flip side of that anonymity is the opportunity cybersex provides to experiment safely with another person. Men who'd never consider letting a guy tie them up in real life can comfortably play a bondage bottom online, and if imagination and reality aren't quite the same thing, at least the real-time back-and-forth with a cybertop can make things hot.

Because cybersex takes place, ultimately, in the brain, not everyone will be terrific at it. A guy who's great in bed may be lousy at the keyboard. Just as phone-sex conversations often mirror the stripped-down language of porn videos, cybersex borrows heavily from gay erotica: "Oh, yeah, plow me hard" or "Now I'm sucking that big, dripping tool of yours." Those who truly get off on reading (or even writing) dirty stories or verbal-abuse fantasies are most likely to love cyber, while guys who are too busy pounding the pud to type anything more than "ok" or "ohhhh" are less than likely to please the demanding cybersexer. "Sometimes," says a nasty cybertop, "I'm coming up with these elaborate scenarios and all the other guy can come up with is a syllable or two. I might as well be talking to myself."

Despite all that, the brain is, as they say, the largest sex organ, and for those of us in search of a sweaty mental workout, cybering can be big fun. It can also be a boon for the closeted, the inexperienced and the shy. Like all good things, though, it can be overdone. A guy who spends all his time talking nasty via his computer should get out, get a life, and relate to flesh-and-blood people. But cyber can be a great dish in the banquet of sex, getting off without leaving your chair.

How to Use Dildo

Dildo types

There is a variety of dildo types each designed for a particular purpose. Think carefully what you need a dildo for and only after than make your choice.

Realistic dildos. These sex toys are valued for their very realistic look. A realistic dildo perfectly resembles male penis with all its characteristics. Many sex toys of this type are molded from real men's penises, usually from penises of some porn stars. A realistic dildo will suit a woman who wants her sex toy to be maximum similar to real male penis.

Suction-cup dildos. The main advantage of suction cup dildos is that these sex toys have a suction cup which allows the user to attach the sex toy to a flat surface thus making it possible to enjoy hands-free masturbation.

Strap-on dildos are specially designed for being a part of harness wear. Thus it allows a partner to penetrate with a dildo hands-free. Of course, this sex toy will be a nice sex toy for a couple who wants to enrich their sexual experience.

Double ended dildosare sex toys with both ends designed for penetration. Thus it is clear that this sex toy can be used by lesbians for sharing or for couples for simultaneous vaginal and anal penetration.

Now that you have chosen the right dildo type you should choose the material.

Dildo materials

Material your sex toy is made of does matter, because it influences such important issues as your sensations lifespan of your sex toy, cost, cleaning and care and many other things.

Dildos are available in a variety of materials, such as silicone, latex, plastic, jelly, rubber and others. Each of these materials has its advantages and disadvantages. For more detailed information on dildo materials see our Sex Toys Guide and make choose a dildo which will suit you best.

So, now perhaps you wish to know what you can use a dildo for. In fact there are plenty of purposes.

Ways to use a dildo

Before getting to know how to use a dildo you should find out what for you can use this sex toy. I will suggest you only a few purposes

1.Female masturbation

2.Mutual masturbation

4.Getting ready for intercourse (using a dildo during foreplay for getting aroused enough)

5. Helping a woman to achieve orgasm if the male partner orgasmed too early

6. Pegging - it implies penetrating a man anally with a strap-on sex toy

7. Lesbian sex (strap on dildos and double ended dildos)

8. Gay sex (strap-ons and double ended dildos)

Do not think that these are the only possible ways to use a dildo. Find your own ones, explore your fantasy!

How to use a dildo properly

As it has been said above it is very important to know how to use a dildo properly. You might buy the right type of dildo, you might choose the right material, but without knowing how to use a dildo properly you will never get real enjoyment.

Below you will find some tips which will help you to get maximum enjoyment from using your favorite dildo.

1.Lubrication. To make use of your dildo easy and very enjoyable use especial lubricants, because some materials do not glide slow enough. As well you should keep in mind that a dildo, unlike a penis does not have natural lubrication. Do have a lube to use it every time you use a dildo or any other sex toy, especially one designed for anal penetration.

2. Arousal first. First of all you should get aroused enough and only than insert the dildo, otherwise you will not find playing with your dildo enjoyable enough. Stimulate your erogenous zones or have your partner do this if using a dildo during partner sex.

3. Slow insertion. Insert your dildo slowly, do not hurry, otherwise insertion might seem quite painful and uncomfortable.

4. Have fun. Do anything you want, there are no rules. Insert the entire dildo or only a half of it, put it deeper or shallower, enjoy fast or slow motions. Enjoy every moment of playing with your sex toy.

MASTURBATE ON ME, USE YOUR DILDO NOW

Gayish Resolution

Post your Gay Resolution here and who knows, it might be the next topic for gaything...

New Year

Happy New Year to all

2009 is here, and nobody can stop it. Like gaything, no one can stop gyathing from introducing new
features in the blog. Every week, gaything will be posting a gay cartoon comics. And some of it has a story to watch everyweek end. Watch out more features on gaything.

Happy Holiday!!!